Are you too polite?

Care, kindness, consider

Are you too polite?

I was writing an introduction post to social media the other day when it reminded me of something.

A number of years ago I’d recently started a new job. I was at a meeting where I was asked to speak about something. 

The meeting ended and a colleague I hadn’t met before walked up to me and asked 

Who exactly are you anyway?

It took me aback a bit at the time. Not the question itself, but the way it was asked.

And then it happened again (almost exactly the same words), not long ago at a different kind of meeting outside of work.

Both times I remember thinking – “mmm, a bit rude” – but I politely introduced myself and let it go.

Be kind (sign) and heart shape

I could have answered with a witty retort – but that’s not really my style – well, not off the cuff anyway.

I was bought up to be polite and politeness will always be my default position.  

But is there such a thing as being too polite?

It depends on where your politeness comes from.

I’ve wondered why I didn’t respond differently either of those times when that question was asked.

I felt a bit embarrassed.

I wanted to make a good impression.

I didn’t want things to be uncomfortable.

I felt caught out and put on the spot.

Say hello to others - written on the pavement

It wasn’t a big deal, to be honest, and I just decided to give both of those people a wide berth.  And watch out for any more off-kilter questions from them in the future.  

It’s their loss, not mine.  That’s how I like to look at it.

If you’re polite do you understand why? 

And, are you too polite?

Sometimes people are polite because they don’t like conflict or they like to please people.

There are some other things to look out for if you think you might be too polite.

Be kind. Let's look out for one another.

Do you let people off the hook too easily?

Do you make excuses for people who are rude?

Do you apologise a lot for things that aren’t your fault?

Do you put everyone else’s needs before your own?

Do you find it difficult to let people know when they’ve hurt or upset you?

Have you held back from saying what you’ve thought for fear of upsetting someone?

Being too polite can lower self-confidence and it can affect how you speak to yourself.

I would encourage honesty, respect, and politeness.

Being honest, saying how you feel, what you think, and what you would like to happen is the epitome of politeness and respect to yourself and to others.

I continue to learn how to speak my truth.

I stand by honesty, respect, and politeness.

If that resonates with you get in touch for a free call 

I’d love to help you to speak your truth.  

Respectfully, of course 😉

You can book a free introductory call with me here

Do you want to stop people-pleasing?