12 Jan Are you too polite?
A number of years ago I started a new job. I was at a meeting where I was asked to speak about something.
The meeting ended and a colleague I hadn’t met before walked up to me and asked
“Who exactly are you anyway?”
It took me aback a bit at the time. Not the question itself, but the way it was asked.
And then it happened again (almost exactly the same words), not long ago at a different kind of meeting outside of work.
Both times I remember thinking – “mmm, a bit rude” – but I politely introduced myself and let it go.
I could have answered with a witty retort – but that’s not really my style – well, not off the cuff anyway.
I was bought up to be polite.
But is there such a thing as being too polite?
I’ve wondered why I didn’t respond differently.
I felt a bit embarrassed.
I wanted to make a good impression.
I didn’t want things to be uncomfortable.
I felt caught out and put on the spot.
It wasn’t a big deal to be honest. I just decided to give both of them a wide berth. And watch out for any more off-kilter questions from them in the future.
It’s their loss, not mine. That’s how I like to look at it.
Sometimes people are polite because they don’t like conflict or they like to please people.
There are some other things to look out for if you think you might be too polite.
Do you let people off the hook too easily?
Do you make excuses for people who are rude?
Do you apologise a lot for things that aren’t your fault?
Do you put everyone else’s needs before your own?
Do you find it difficult to let people know when they’ve hurt or upset you?
Have you held back from saying what you’ve thought for fear of upsetting someone?
Being too polite can lower self-confidence and it can affect how you speak to yourself.
I would encourage honesty, respect, and politeness.
Being honest, saying how you feel, what you think, and what you would like to happen is the epitome of politeness and respect to yourself and to others.
If that resonates with you get in touch for a free call.
I’d love to hear what you think.
Respectfully, of course 😉
You can book a free introductory call with me here
Do you want to stop people-pleasing?