22 Jan Are you a people pleaser?
Do you like to help?
It feels good to help someone out doesn’t it.
But if you find yourself regularly offering to do something you don’t want to do, and then regret or even resent it, you might be a people pleaser.
How to know you’re a people pleaser
Do you hate to disappoint; want to be liked, avoid conflict, prefer harmony, like to conform to what someone else would want?
There’s nothing intrinsically bad about being a people pleaser. It’s good to make people happy some of the time.
But is it working for you? What are the downsides?
If you are putting other people first all of the time you could be denying yourself opportunities and missing out on things you want to do.
Friends, family and colleagues get so used to you going along with things you might get walked all over.
You get taken for granted and your feelings overlooked.
You might start to resent the people you set out to please and get to the end of your tether.
You’re not truthful with yourself about the things that you want to say and do.
People don’t see the real you and hear what you really want to do and say.
So how do you stop people pleasing?
Think of something you can say “no” to today.
Get used to how it feels.
Learn some new ways of saying “no” or “not right now”