“There’s no joy in it”.
Those were the words I uttered to my coach. I wasn’t sure where the words came from, they just tipped out of my mouth.
“What does joy look like to you?”
A great question but one I didn’t have the answer to.
I’d had a career in the public and charity sectors over two decades. I was in a well paid job, had the lifestyle that went with it, but felt really lost, exhausted and trapped, feeling that I was without choice or options. I had no energy to think about doing anything different.
“I just need to get on with it”
I felt I shouldn’t complain – I had a lovely family, a lovely home – I hoped that tomorrow, next week, next month would be better. I got on with it for while but it didn’t work out well for me.
My health hadn’t been so great for a couple of years, nothing significant, some minor niggles, infections, courses of antibiotics. I was tired a lot.
And then I got ill.
I took proper sick leave for the first time in my working life. The GP said I was exhausted.
In the midst of this, I sought coaching. It was the best thing I did and the first step to changing my life.
My coach helped me to see that I feared losing the status that I thought my work gave me. I liked being the person other people came to, always having the answer, taking responsibility for everything and everyone.
After a few sessions of coaching something changed.
It took me a while to work out that the change was me. The decision was made. I was moving forward to something new.
I’d trained as an internal coach in the organisation I worked for. I’d used coaching skills with the people I worked with and had always enjoyed the opportunity to help people develop and grow.
I left my job and started my coach training.
People have always told me how calm I am. The only difference these days is that I feel it.
You can find out more about my career and qualifications here.
So to answer my coach’s question, joy to me looks like having a spring in my step and hope in my heart every day. I have that in my life now.
I am now a Full Time Coach and I hope, through coaching, to help others find their joy too.