08 Aug What does Derek say?
Self doubt and your inner critic!
I’m an introvert so I live in my head a lot, with Derek, my inner critic.
Derek is like a broken record and I often have to turn the volume down.
Derek wants to keep me safe, not let me look foolish, embarrassed, get things wrong or be irresponsible.
It usually shows up when I’m planning to do something new or ‘dangerous’, when I might be pushing myself physically or doing something that’s outside of my comfort zone.
It tells me I’m too old, too slow, too quiet or that I’ll get it wrong or look stupid.
If I listened to Derek I’d probably never go out of the house or do anything new.
I can’t just ignore it and it’s no use arguing with it. So we regularly do a deal.
I listen to it, examine what it’s telling me (to see if there’s any evidence to support it), and then I put it away somewhere, or to the back of my mind. (That last bit is a bit tricky and takes a bit of practice).
We all have self doubt and an inner critic – some are harsher than others.
Our inner critic :
is a narrator telling a version of a story that’s based on instinct and emotion, not evidence.
is all about survival
knows all about our vulnerabilities and fear of failure
focuses on problems not solutions
sees things in black and white
takes inspiration from other critics in our life – now and in the past – even the well meaning ones
BUT your inner critic is not you!
(Which is why I’ve given my inner critic a name – although I’ve no idea why it’s called Derek)
So, how about you?
When does self-doubt show up for you in the shape of your inner critic?
How does it show up?
What do you criticise yourself for?
What is your inner critic saying?
Where has that story come from?
Is what the voice saying true?
Do you have any real evidence that it is true? All of it or just in part?
What’s the real truth here?
What does the evidence say?
(My blog on imposter phenomenon describes how to build a confidence wall which can be helpful for overcoming self doubt.)